#but i've been listening to them a lot recently BECAUSE they make me think of ren sjndfkjn

[loulougoingsolo]

"Just yourself be, if weird is you."

I don't often get annoyed by Rhett or Link, and it is probably a strong word to use even now, but...today's Ear biscuits episode kinda made me growl at Rhett a little.

I'm not going to talk about the entire episode, but the guys were answering listener questions, and the last one was about midlife crises, if they have them and how.

Now, as someone who is less than a year younger than Link, I've probably tackled a crisis of my own in the recent times. (You could say my entire adult life has been a crisis, but I won't.) But I loved Link's explanation of his midlife crisis, which was basically finding the limits of how weird he can be without making Christy scratch her head too much. Like, Link basically said he is still exploring what he is and what he wants to be (and I'm not implying he was talking about his sexual identity - I think he meant he is exploring his identity in a broader context of being human). Rhett took this as an opportunity to remind Link that when someone chooses to be "weird", they need to understand that it might impact their relationships. And at that point, I growled.

I'm a weirdo. I spent way too many years of my life trying not to be weird. The funny (not really) thing was, trying to act normal only made me sick, made me behave in a very unnatural, stiff way around other people, and I was miserable. I dare to say, nowadays, after, thanks to a lot of soul-searching, therapy and embracing my true self, I come across much more likable than before. I'm not tense, I don't need to put on a mask, and I am more comfortable with myself, which just makes me more fun to be with. Syre, there are people who think I'm too weird, don't act my age, or make strange stylistic choices. The people I love accept me as I am, and I may have infected them with dashes of self-acceptance, too. So, grrr at you, Rhett.

Seriously though, I love that Link is less tense these days. I know some people are annoyed by him, but I love how he has blossomed from an antsy guy who stuck to wearing t-shirts and jeans to an actual fashion icon. He's less afraid of showing his emotions these days (good and bad), and he's just overall more at ease. I'd hate for his loved ones to try to tame him too much, and I hated the way Rhett managed to make his advice sound like a threat that if Link gets too weird, he'll lose some of his relationships.

Maybe I heard more than was said. Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way, because I see myself in Link more than I do in Rhett, and I recognize the things Link said in myself. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on this episode, and this answer about midlife crisis in particular.

Also, for anyone planning to go hiking with a cat: I love the idea, and if I see you with your cats on the trails I take, I want to be your friend. I have been known to lightly stalk a lady who was in the library with her cat on her shoulders, just so I could coo at the furbaby.

[urban-fleabag]

Hi... So... You responded to my post about my shift a little while ago and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be more in touch with my theriotypes. I have a good idea on how to let myself be a cat, but I was wanting to know about my (Also recently discovered) wolf theriotype. Being a cat is easy, I've been doing it my whole life without realizing it and just need to be more open to it, but the wolf is a problem. I know that you're a coyote, and was wondering if you could give me tips about being a wild canine or if you have any other sites, communities, or other advice for me to figure it out myself. I've been researching wolf behavior, so I think that'll help.

You're definitely on the right path researching wolf behavior! That'll point you in the direction of what sorts of things will make you feel more like you and give you ideas on what to try out. For me, personally, vocalizations are pretty huge- that's a very Coyote Thing, but can apply to wolves too, howling is like, one of their Key Features.

I also highly recommend making your room your den and establishing a local territory- either just your back yard, or some local places you hang out. I find it helps a lot for me to think of home and work as parts of my territory, it helps me feel secure. Some people even go out and "claim" parts of local parks with howling/vocals and hanging out, but I haven't gotten the chance to do that yet.

If you're a gamer, I HIGHLY recommend Wolf Quest on the PC- one of my partners is a wolf and they're legitimately obsessed with the game and have been following its development for years. You play as a wolf in Yellowstone and you have a pack and raise pups, and I've heard really great things.

I also personally find that adding extra meat to your diet if you're so inclined can help you feel more at home. I need the extra protein anyways, so it was a major bonus for me, but really anything you can tear up with your teeth should be good. Make sure you're still attending to your human form's needs, but feel free to indulge. I also find oranges are a good treat to rip and gnaw on if you're not a fan of meats.

Some good media that might help you feel at home is a movie called Wolfwalkers (highly recommend even to a non therian tbh it's great), and Autumn J on YouTube makes a lot of alterhuman music including one specifically about wolves if you wanna give a listen! It always makes me feel shifty in a good way.

Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of sites or community based links, so I'll crowsource this one- I hope you don't mind me answering publicly. I will say, avoid the fuck out of TikTok. It's full of misinformation and gatekeeping, and generally just kind of a warped view of what therianthropy is. Feel free to check it out for gear and quads I guess, I've heard good things about quads but I can't do them due to my carpal tunnel and they're a newer thing afaik. Just don't rely on TikTok for informative stuff- it skews super young and overall isn't helpful for education, which is fine because it's an entertainment app.