#but i've been listening to them a lot recently BECAUSE they make me think of ren sjndfkjn
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hope you're feeling better by the ghosting! Lesbian dating scene is hard out here 😭 have an ask if you're up for it. Or you can just listen abt this scenario I have, totally fine either way just wanna let these thoughts out. And you're my fav sevika writer so! It's a bit angsty/comfort ig? Basically Sevika explaining to reader why it's such a struggle to say "I love you".
Not just because it's an admission of feelings for such a character but I think it's also cuz loving someone also means you have to accept anything could happen to either of them, esp since Zaun and her job are quite dangerous. So saying those 3 words feels like accepting that risk and continue on which is a big thing to do, it's like willingly leaving yourself open to potential heartaches. Idk just recently saw posts about how love is not just a feeling but also a choice, whether to stay/commit/any other reason the person feels what love is. Felt like if the reader is the first thing she's ever cared about and don't wanna lose her (whether it's a breakup, death etc,), she would struggle saying it cuz it feels like accepting that risk which she doesn't want to. She would still make up for it by showing her love & appreciation thru other means tho! Mb the reader had anxious thoughts on whether she reciprocated, or Sevika feels bad for not saying back for so long that she felt like she has to explain why she's struggling.
Sorry if I'm rambling too long 😅 hope you have a great year ahead, love your writing as well! ❤️
i love this sm <33
men and minors dni
even though you've lived in zaun your whole life, you understand that your life's been a lot softer than it could've been.
you've never had to worry about where you'll sleep at night-- you've always had a dry, warm bed to rest in.
you've gone hungry some nights, but you're lucky enough to have never gone more than a few days without a warm meal.
and your choice in career keeps you out of the line of danger; safe and inside most of the day, home before sunset each night.
so, while you're zaunite enough to know how to keep your head down and mind your own business, you understand that for most people life's a lot scarier.
sevika's one of those people.
sevika's known grief for almost as long as she's known how to talk. she's spent her fair share of nights in the cold, and she's gone to bed hungry more often than she's gone to bed full and satisfied. plus, sevika's dedicated her life to being a revolutionary. which means sevika has a lot of enemies.
so it's no surprise that lovey-dovey words come easier for you than they do for sevika.
it isn't until two years into your relationship that you realize she's never said she loves you. sevika has to be the one to point it out.
"i think i gotta call it an early night, baby. you stay up and finish the movie." you say around a yawn, leaning forward to kiss your girlfriend on the couch. sevika pouts.
"just sleep on top of me here." she requests. you snort.
"you'll throw your back out carrying me to bed."
"that's just offensive. i could lift three of you." sevika's pout worsens. "goodnight." she huffs. "give me another kiss."
you laugh and roll your eyes. "i love you." you say with exasperation as you lean in to kiss her. sevika stiffens against you. you pull away to study her face. "'s wrong?"
"you always say that." sevika whispers. you raise an eyebrow at her, climbing into her lap to hold her face between your hands.
"well, yeah. 'cause i do."
"i know." sevika says with a tiny smile. it makes your heart flutter. it's quiet for a moment as you wait patiently for your girl to gather her words. eventually, sevika sighs. "does it ever bother you that i don't say that to you?" she asks.
you frown in confusion. "what, that you love me?" you ask. sevika nods. you sputter a laugh. "yes you do, you say it all the time." you scoff.
sevika blinks up at you in shock. "no i don't." she says. "baby, i've never said it. to anyone. ever."
oh. well, that's surprising. you furrow your brow as you try to recall an instance where your girlfriend let the words slip, and you're shocked to realize that she, in fact, has not. "oh." you say.
sevika gulps. "does that... is that bad?" she asks.
you blink down at her, and your heart shatters. "oh, baby, no." you coo, kissing her frown. "no, that's not bad."
"but-- i should be able--"
"darling, i know you love me." you cut her off. sevika blushes almost as red as she did the first time she saw your tits. you smile, brushing your thumbs over her crimson cheeks. "you make that very clear."
"yeah but i--"
"you moved me into your sacred bachlorette pad three months into us meeting. yesterday, you came home from work with a stab wound, and tried to make me dinner before patching yourself up."
"it was just a scratch."
"i'm not finished. you call me stupid shit like sweetbean and cookie-- and you do it in front of other people! you! sevika; the scary lady of zaun!" she chuckles a little bit at this. "sevika, i didn't even realize you hadn't said it until you told me just now." you kiss her nose. "it's not bad."
sevika leans forward to bury her face against your neck, inhaling deeply. "i just... i want to say it." she whispers. you nod. "i wish i could say it like you do; just, whenever i feel it." god she's romantic. you choke back your own tears as you kiss her scalp. "but... if i say it..." sevika trails off.
"if you say it, it makes it real." you whisper, nodding. "it makes it somethin' you can lose." you can feel her hot tears on your throat. you don't mention it.
"y-yeah." she whispers shakily, her hands clutching at your hips desperately. "and i can't lose you."
"you won't baby. even if the worst happens, i'm yours forever. i'll haunt the shit outta you." this pulls a startled laugh out of her, and you grin. "you don't have to say it for the rest of our lives, if you can't. i won't mind. just as long as we're together."
and that settles it.
for a while...
sevika starts practicing.
she'll spell it out to you, 'i l-o-v-e you, baby.' or she'll whisper it to you when she thinks you're sleeping.
at the three year mark, sevika can say it when she's drunk enough. it's fucking adorable.
"i have somethin' import'nt' t' tell you..." she says with a waggle of her eyebrows. you burst into laughter.
"oh, do you?" you ask.
"mmhmm. look." sevika darts forward to peck your lips, then pulls back with a proud smile. "i love'ya." she slurs. you grin.
"i love you too, baby."
"an' if this jinxes everythin' and y' die-- y' gotta make the haunting obvious 'kay?" she asks. you cackle.
"alright, love."
by the time you're married, the words are almost compulsive for her. sevika can't leave a room without shooting a 'love you' over her shoulder at you. even if you're arguing.
"oh, so you've conveniently got a fuckin' 'meeting' in the middle of the night, on your night to do fuckin' dishes?! if you don't get in the kitchen and grab the sponge right now you're sleeping on the couch!"
"it's six pm, it's a dinner meeting! i'll do the dishes when i get back! you act like i'm fuckin' negligent, but you're the one who doesn't know how to properly clean a fuckin' toilet! janna, you annoy me-- i love you, i'll be back by midnight!" she huffs as she slams the door behind her.
despite how pissed you are-- you can't help but smile a bit at her words.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner
@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke
@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25
@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby
@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17
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something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."
like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...
#like it's sad both on the front of 'dehumanizing my real life'#but also on the front of 'you deserve to have healthy communication in your life'#like if you think this is unrealistic it means more than likely you havent experienced someone being patient and understanding with you#and that makes me very very sad#I'm sorry#also it's just rude to tell me my writing is unrealistic LOL like hey#real people talk all kinds of ways. shut up#I've been told it's also in part cause they always understand their own feelings when theyre talking#but I'm like...#theyre like mid 30-early 40 and theyre immortal and theyre going through a lot of shit#I feel like theyve thought about it a lot#also the comic takes place over the course of a year so far#we're seeing the big moments and the fun mysteries#so#its about grown men who love eachother#sorry that they think about what they want to say before they say it#also as if adam isnt constantly wrong and steve isnt constantly pushing shit down#he's only JUST RECENTLY starting to share his emotions as they come up#instead of pretending theyre not there and letting things boil over#I think people just THINK theyre communicating way too clearly because their partner#who loves them#is listening and responding with kindness#like..#idk I have a lot of thoughts about this#would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for this to spark a discussion#and especially for it to cause people to reread a little more critically#and perhaps even introspect on their own ideas of communication standards#I've been with my partner for 10 years. this is how we talk to eachother
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me: character playlists are such a fun and open concept! you can make them however you want!
also me: will i get a bad grade in playlist-making if half of this playlist is just 2 artists lol lmao
#FINALLY doing the general all-around ren playlist for the renniversary sdkjnk i'm having trouble w the track order tho#because of the difficulty of trying not to put same-artist songs together but still trying to balance the sound ;;;;;;#i'm sorry but. drive45 and tv room are so perfectly rencore. sound-wise and lyrically.#i feel like it comes across as 'well these are 2 of my fav bands so that's all i listen to'#but i've been listening to them a lot recently BECAUSE they make me think of ren sjndfkjn#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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not to be sappy on main but like
I wanna sit with you and have healthy conversations/ our wants, our wills, our trials and tribulations/ sort through faults and fears, the happier years/ let the smiles be the tears replacement
#Bears in trees#I've been screaming about the amazing devil a lot recently (which fair because they are incredible)#But I think it's time to give some love to some of my other lovely bands#This beautiful band is called bears in trees#And they are lovely. And bright. And queer. And make songs about how important platonic love and friendship is#And they will never not make me cry#Honestly I love their new album but I think precipitation will always be my favorite song like#“I know you don't eat at all/ in front of other people/ but one day we'll try a whole menu”#That. That hits hard.#Anyways bears in trees go listen to them now it will make your day#:D#precipitation
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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
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Let's Talk About Un-ironicizing Art!
In light of a lot of the conversations i've seen surrounding Death Grips and recent events concerning them, I want to take the time to point out that this is a good time to start thinking about how we engage with art on the whole!
For a long time, the irony poisoned method of consumption went unchecked in all facets of internet culture. As an internet musician in current day, I have noticed a sharp disconnect between artists and enthusiasts/casual listeners when it comes to attitudes surrounding music specifically, though I've witnessed it permeate all forms of art in some way.
I see people who have grown scared to engage on deeper levels, intentionally severing any resonant connections or knowledge learned from a piece of media before it has the chance to take root. In short, dare to be vulnerable! Dare to enjoy something on the basis that you yourself resonate with it, and not for any other nebulous reasoning. When masses of people relegate art to a spectacle, not only do artists become more likely to be disenchanted with the passions that fuel their work, but the audience ultimately suffers as well. All art at that point becomes less an extension of ourselves, less a vehicle to explore our identities, and is rendered a meaningless hulking sludge, or worse, the opponent to an already shrinking and narrow worldview.
Be not afraid to be unabashedly in love with the work that inspires you. Be not afraid to have the things you love misunderstood by some. When you engage with work new and old, make sure to do it for yourself. Making and observing art is inherently selfish, but being selfish is not inherently misguided. Allow yourself to learn, grow, discover, and repeat that cycle until the day you die.
To speak more candidly about my own experience, throughout the course of my life, there has been art that I've held near and dear to my identity, and own journey of self discovery that I seldom find others who hold the same sentiments to. I've always found this exciting. Exciting to hold something close to my chest as something so personal, and even more exciting when I can ease up on that grip when I find someone who I can share that with. However, I've also been through the throes of how the internet tends to chew up and spit out art that generally isn't understood by the many. I've fallen victim myself to the hive mind mentality that circles some artists and the cult of non-identity around them. This off-color ouroboros of knowing all about an artist's work and simultaneously upholding this facade of vapid complacency. I've come to the conclusion that if being openly supportive and connected to an artist's work or a particular piece of work automatically renders a person uninteresting and unambiguous at the very least, then I will live happily as an uninteresting open book. At the worst times, we see this line of thinking contribute to Death Grips being mocked and belittled en masse by people who are unwilling to engage with their art before they even get that far. It's heartbreaking, to me at least to see people put so much effort, emotion, and passion into transforming culture for the better to be rewarded with a crowd that's plugging their ears.
I realize I run the risk of sounding self indulgent, or even patronizing to an extent; I apologize because that isn't my intention, I'm hoping to see gears shift at least on a micro level surrounding attitudes towards art appreciation. Remember to dare to be in love holistically with the art you engage with! Speak of the things you love in a way that makes that clear to others, and consider your peers to do the same! You and the people around you can only be better off for it.
#long post#really long post#music#death grips#the internet is full of bright and beautiful art so why not help yourself
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Not gonna lie, analysis of Minfilia that rests on a reading of her as some kind of hiring manager at a company really doesn't sit right with me, not just because it lends itself to some particularly uncharitable readings of Minfilia, but because it seems to me like a pretty inaccurate reading of what the Scions actually are in ARR.
The Scions of the Seventh Dawn are the union of the Circle of Knowing, a group of activist academics who accurately predicted the apocalypse but failed to prevent it and lost their beloved mentor in the process, and the Path of the Twelve, a group for Echo-bearers to help them better understand and make use of their gift--all doing their best to pick up the pieces and protect the realm in the wake of said apocalypse. Minfilia, formerly the leader of the Path of the Twelve, has now been thrust into the position of leadership over both at the late Louisoix's behest. The Scions in ARR aren't a company, they're an activist group, and in ARR still a very small one without the massive web of political connections they fall into later. They don't have a lot of financial resources. They're largely working quietly and behind the scenes. They have a secret code phrase to identify friends of the organization. Being recruited into this group in ARR is closer to being recruited into a resistance cell than being interviewed for a formal job.
Minfilia's role prior to the Calamity was as the leader of a support group for people experiencing a frightening, isolating, and as-yet poorly-understood phenomenon, a group where they could find others like them, understand what's happening to them, and learn how to use their gift for good. And to some extent, this is still a part of her role. The Warrior of Light is brought in because they were witnessed experiencing the Echo, and Minfilia is reaching out to them as a fellow Echo-bearer. I think it's a mistake to interpret her words and actions without that context, particularly her expressed hope that this most recent Echo-bearer she's invited into her group will find something like family there. I mean, listen to the joy with which she says, "I too possess the Echo." She's telling the WoL that they're not alone, that there is a name and an explanation for what they've been experiencing, that they can find others like themselves here. Yes, she's also asking for their help. But this is a pretty far cry from a job interview. However flawed the Scions may be as an organization, I can only see Minfilia's overtures here as offered in the spirit of friendship and camaraderie. And framing that as her trying to build loyalty she can exploit in a corporate manner feels extremely ungenerous given what we know of her character.
I don't want to sound like I'm here to defend the Scions in ARR against any and all criticism--I've discussed my own in the past, from their concerning tendency toward self-sacrifice to the attitude they develop toward the WoL (which is kind of up for interpretation based on your character's relationship to them but which can come across as a cavalier attitude toward the WoL's safety, taking advantage of their unique abilities, etc). In particular, the Scions' experience as a small activist organization, and Minfilia's particular experience as Echo support group leader, has ill-prepared any of them to be thrust into an international spotlight following the defeat of the Ultima Weapon. The attack on the Waking Sands has already revealed the weaknesses in their opsec, and certain scenes in the ARR patch quests reveal something of a power struggle between Minfilia and Alphinaud--one which Alphinaud ultimately wins, because Minfilia lacks the kind of confidence in her position to stand against the force of his personality, and she, like most of the other Scions, starts to fall into the trap of seeing Alphinaud as the second coming of Louisoix and lets him push her around accordingly. Minfilia is simply not equipped or prepared to lead the kind of organization the Scions are turning into. (Urianger, incidentally is one of the few who seems to notice this and remark on it, but also seems to feel that he can't directly object.) The cracks begin to show, and then it all falls apart, and when the Scions finally begin to put themselves back together post-Heavensward, I think they all understand that they can't go back, that what they rebuild will be something new. Over the next few expacs I think we see them developing a new group identity, recognizing that that old model no longer serves them and doing their best to adapt to constantly changing circumstances.
The Scions in ARR have plenty of problems, but they're not a for-profit company and they're also not the same organization as the Scions of later expacs. I think that context needs to be taken into account when interpreting their actions, especially those of their leader.
#sorry to vague#i just think interpreting everything through a capitalist lens maybe results in some less useful readings#afk by the aetheryte#ffxiv stuff#heavensward spoilers#arr spoilers
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You've made a lot of really great posts about transmasc experiences and struggles, and they really resonate with me! So I guess I want to in complete earnest ask: why the push for 'transandrophobia' when anti-transmasculinity as a term has been around for longer and faces little friction by comparison? I don't really *dislike* transandrophobia, but its meaning gets muddied everywhere from different directions, while ATM is pretty direct and succinct I feel. It's very clear that it's about TRANSmasculine oppression. I'm not against having a dedicated term at all, but the content of our struggles gets lost in the weeds of attaching kind of understandably divisive terms like misandry and androphobia in an attempt to mirror a phenomenon very specifically about misogyny; it seems more trouble than it's worth considering ATM is right there
I'll be honest, this ask is confusing to me for a few reasons.
When I started talking about transandrophobia around the summer of 2020, the conversations I was encountering were very much, like, a handful of people across Twitter and Tumblr (literally, a handfull!). I picked up "transandrophobia" because it was one of two words I saw in use, and the other- "transmisandry"- felt much less clear and much more contentious. It seemed super obvious to me that people would draw a line from "men's rights activists" trying to push this idea that "misandry", as a systemic oppression of men by women, to "transmisandry", and assume some ill intent where there was none. It's confusing!
"Transandrophobia" was the better of two options being floated at the time, at least in any conversation I saw. "Anti-transmasculinity" was not really a term I'd been made aware of, if anyone at all was talking about it at the time.
I have seen people pick up "anti-transmasculinity" more recently (maybe in the last year?), and this is definitely the first I've seen someone shorten it to "ATM". The people I've seen use that term have been mostly people who seem really new to the conversation, and the vibe I've gotten has been very, like, "we're the Good Transmascs, our word isn't dirty and gross like those other Bad Transmascs everyone hates. you'll listen to us now that our word is Good and Pure, right?"
Which is like... kind of frustrating, and kind of sad, honestly. I think these people honestly believe that if they just choose the right word, all the people who've been dragging me and every other transmasc talking about these issues through the mud for the last 4 years or so will really just stop & listen. If they can just say it right, these people- who have been relentlessly harassing and spreading lies about every single transmasc who came before them for years now- will care what they have to say, and will be willing to engage with them in earnest, compassionate dialogue.
If you just find the right word, all of these people will care about your hurt, your pain, and the suffering of your community.
It kind of breaks my heart. It's an incredibly hopeful, kind, loving way to view the world. It's compassion and patience and forgiveness that these folks are not being given, but that they so badly want to offer to others.
And at the same time, it sucks to be the Bad Transmasc. It sucks to have fought so hard for so long, and for the people I've been fighting for all this time to turn around and say, "you're gross, and dirty, and evil, and everything you've done is a mistake." It sucks to see the people I've been fighting for agree with the people I've been fighting against, and shove me under the bus in an effort to appeal to the people running me over with it. Knowing that the bus is going to aim for them once it's done with me just makes it sadder, yknow?
@saint-speaks wasn't the first person to ever speak the word "transandrophobia", but he is the one who coined and popularized it in its current form. And then he was dragged through the mud so hard and so brutally that some people think I coined it, just because when I defended him (too little and too late, imo) I withstood the mud-dragging better than he did (and gee, I wonder white.)
And now people take for granted that everything everyone said about hymn to justify that frankly fucking evil harassment campaign was true, actually, and we should abandon the word he coined and find one with purer origins.
If you honestly think "anti-transmasculinity" is just a more practical word, that's fine. I don't care what word we use. But they're going to cover it in mud, too. They're going to cover every one of you in mud.
Will you keep fighting for "ATM" once they make it the new dirty, gross, bad, evil word? Will you keep fighting when they drag you and everyone else through the mud for using it? Or will you agree with them, make up a new word, and never look back?
Please don't let us drown in the mud. We've been fighting for you, and we want to fight with you. Please.
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unknown / nth ⭐ minghao x reader.
your boyfriend gives you a language lesson before bed.
★ minghao x translator/interpreter!reader a.k.a the lost in translation couple ★ word count: 1.9k ★ genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, conversation about mandarin (my reference). takes place post-lost in translation! not entirely necessary to have read the fic prior to this. title is from hozier's song of the same name. not proofread. ★ footnotes: minghao did a brief weibo live and i've been missing lost in translation for quite some time now, so i jammed this out really quick 🚬🦆 may write more for/about this couple in the near future, so take this as the first of many! ♡
“I think Cold Love really represents me well. It’s probably because I’m an INFJ.”
You press your palm to your mouth to stifle your laugh. Minghao doesn’t react visibly, but his hand waves at you off-camera. A wordless reminder of Be nice.
The two of you are across the room from each other— him, perched on the couch of his hotel room, while you’re already tucked in bed. Minghao had promised his fans a quick Weibo live to discuss his most recent EP, leaving you to your own devices for the next hour or so.
You didn’t mind. It was one of life’s simple joys, listening to your boyfriend talk.
He spends the next thirty minutes or so discussing his creative process and answering fans’ questions. You don’t bother him, knowing you’ll have all the time in the world later to tease him for some of his remarks. Like his indignance at growing taller or his jabs at his age.
As you busy yourself with mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you relish in the familiar sound of Minghao’s Mandarin. It’s probably your favorite version of white noise, really. The mellow tone of his voice contrasts the rapid, sharp way that he speaks. Despite being well-acquainted with the language, there are still some words that elude you. You make a mental note to ask Minghao about them later.
Less than an hour has passed before you hear Minghao beginning to wind down. “Good luck on all of your exams. To the people working, keep working hard! Make lots of money,” he says hurriedly. “And good luck with love, too. I hope you all find someone who loves you back so you can experience all sorts of feelings.”
He’s never been the type to drag out his goodbyes, so you’re not surprised when— after a final heart sign and wave to the camera— Minghao is finally clocking out of his live.
Immediately, he slumps back onto the couch like the whole thing had drained him. Sure, lives weren’t necessarily one-sided, but he did have to hard carry when it came to the talking part of the affair. You flash him a sympathetic smile as you sit up in bed.
“Done, xīngān?” you call out.
Minghao doesn’t respond right away. You don’t hold it against him. He sometimes needed a moment, needed a minute or two to pull himself together.
After staring at the ceiling for what feels like forever, Minghao lets out a shuddering exhale. “Done,” he responds, and he’s moving before you can register it.
He gets to his feet and crosses the room in a few, quick strides. Once he gets to the bed, he wastes no time in reaching for you. His knees sink in the mattress; his hands dart out.
You let out a slight squeal when Minghao tugs you into him.
“Sorry,” he says, not sounding very sorry at all. This had been a premeditated act. You can tell in the way his arms immediately snake around your waist.
You let out a defeated sigh against his chest, but make no move to pull away. “Tired?” you ask, your hands resting on the small of his back as you return his embrace.
He hums a quiet ‘mhm’. “I’m not built for this anymore, xīngān,” he whines.
The two of you know that’s a bold-faced lie. Still, you indulge your sulking boyfriend lest he begin to pout even harder. “My poor baby,” you coo, running your hands up and down Minghao’s back in a show of comforting him. “Gonna blame it on being an introvert?”
“Shut up.”
You let out a small laugh. You can’t see it, but you swear you can feel the curve of Minghao’s smile as he presses a chaste kiss to the top of your head.
“Thank you for being here,” he says after a moment of comfortable silence. “It means a lot.”
A part of you wants to insist that it’s nothing. It’s not every day that you can steal away to his hotel room, though. In between your own work of interpreting for the boys and working on subtitles for videos, there’s also the added layer of keeping your relationship on the down low.
Tonight, Minghao had just tried to asked. Texted a couple of hours ago that he wanted to see you. And you could never really deny him anything, not even on your best days.
“Anything for you,” you respond as you stroke the short hair at his nape.
Minghao buries his face in the crook of your neck, his smiling mouth warm as he mumbles against your skin. “Don’t give me that much power,” he warns. “I’ll abuse it.”
You chuckle. “I don’t doubt that.”
The two of you lapse into another bout of quiet. This had always been your way, even back when the two of you were friends: Comfortable silences, unspoken agreements. Your new relationship had only given you two the carte blanche to be a little more touchy during your shared moments of peace.
You’re fairly sure that Minghao has fallen asleep when he speaks up again. “How do you think I did?”
“With the live?”
“No, with cuddling. Yes, with the live.”
“Ask nicely.”
“Please?”
You put Minghao out of his misery by returning his earlier gesture— leaving a quick kiss, this time to the line of his jaw. “Stellar as usual,” you reassure him. “I didn’t pick up on everything, though.”
“That’s new.” Minghao shifts around on the bed until he can prop himself up on one elbow. He rests his chin in his hand but doesn’t stray too far. He stays hovering over you, his free arm remaining around your waist.
He goes on to goad, “Your Mandarin must be getting rusty.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes, shooting him a half-hearted glare. “How can it be rusty,” you retort, slipping into the language as if to prove a point. “When you’re always insisting that we use it?”
No matter how many times that you speak to him in his mother tongue, Minghao always seems momentarily startled. The surprise always fades into affection, evident in the fond way that he gazes down at you.
He matches your code switch without missing a beat. “I’ve told you, haven’t I? I love it when you speak Mandarin,” he says, punctuating his words with a quick pinch to your side.
You swat his hand; he giggles down at you.
“Which parts did you miss out on?” he asks.
It takes you a moment to recall the terms and phrases you’d wanted to question him about. “撒娇?” you ask, the unfamiliar word sounding almost hesitant on your tongue. Sājiāo.
A thoughtful ‘ahhh’ escapes Minghao. “Think of it like aegyo,” he offers delicately. “It’s— often in the setting of a relationship. Acting cute to be endearing.”
“Like when you gripe about me not responding fast enough.”
“Examples aren’t necessary,” he says wryly. “But, yes. Like that.”
You flash Minghao a grin before snuggling a little closer to him, entangling your legs. The added touch makes his expression softens in the way it only ever does when it’s you.
“Anything else?” he prompts.
It’s not everyday that Minghao gets to play the ‘teacher’ role in your relationship. In the beginning, you had been his Korean tutor. In the longer run, you had helped him translate and transpose words that he couldn’t reach. Every so often, you would run to him for some Mandarin help, and you could tell that he relished in the shift in dynamic.
The thought pushes you to keep asking, even though the words are inconsequential. “You used the term 暖男,” you note. “What was that one?”
“Nuǎnnán,” he echoes, correcting your intonation. You repeat the word as he said it, and he gives a small smile of approval.
“It’s our version of ‘nice guy’,” he explains. “But it’s rooted a lot in culture. A nuǎnnán is a man who can be considered inherently warm-hearted in an otherwise patriarchal society. And no—” Minghao’s tone takes on a more chiding quality when he sees you about to interrupt. “Do not try to call me a nuǎnnán.”
You jut out your lower lip slightly. “Why not?”
The arm that Minghao had around your waist rises, just enough so he can tap the tip of your scrunched nose. “Don’t pull out sājiāo on me,” he scolds.
It’s not necessary for you to act cute. Your boyfriend would be endeared by you either way.
You chuckle at being caught, and Minghao’s sternness mellows. “One last.” You hold up a finger as you try to nail the phrase that had first caught your attention. “裸婚?”
There’s a flicker of surprise on Minghao’s expression. “That was from a fan making a joke,” he warns before repeating the word himself. “Luǒhūn translates to— hear me out, okay?— ‘naked marriage’.”
The sight of your raised eyebrow draws a sharp laugh from Minghao. “It’s another one of those cultural things,” he says.
When he doesn’t add onto his words, you shoot him an incredulous look.
“What?” he asks with feigned innocence.
“That’s it?” you prod. “You’re not going to explain what ‘naked marriage’ means?”
“You have access to the internet, don’t you?”
“Xīngān.”
“That’s me.”
At Minghao’s continued evasion, you merely huff and give up. It’s getting late, anyway, and he has to be up early in the morning for sound check. Come tomorrow, you’ll have to slip away before anyone can come looking for either of you. The boys aren’t privy to your relationship yet, and God forbid any of the other staff find out.
“Fine,” you say, unable to resist the urge to just be a little haughty. “Let’s go to sleep.”
Minghao is undeterred by your contempt. If anything, it only makes him smile a little wider, gives him an excuse to pull you into his chest. He goes to cradle the back of your head, his fingers playing with the strands of your hair.
You lean into his touch, burying your face into the front of his shirt. There it is again. Those few, precious moments where the two of you can just bask in each other’s presence.
The silence stretches on this time. You’re properly drowsy by the time Minghao speaks up, his words quiet as he mumbles them against your shoulder.
“No house, no car, no fancy ring,” he murmurs, his tone contemplative and sleepy. “Luǒhūn.”
“A naked marriage,” you respond mid-yawn.
“Mhm.”
“Nothing but love.”
“You got it.”
The conversation feels like it’s teetering on the verge of something consequential, something of value. But with the two of you already halfway asleep in each other's arms, there’s not much you can do besides exchange some light pecks and mumbled words.
“I think I’d want at least a house before getting married,” you say. “Or, like, an apartment.”
“What, you wouldn’t live out on the streets with me?” he teases lowly.
Your eyes flutter close. “You would have to convince me,” you shoot back.
Minghao responds with a lingering kiss to your forehead.
“How long will it take to convince you?”
It’s a little too early in your relationship for the topic of marriage to be seriously brought up. It’s fun to dream about, though. To talk about in hushed tones, to toy with in Minghao’s mother tongue.
To imagine a time where this might be your every night— falling asleep in each other’s arms.
“Might take you years and years,” you answer, a giggle rising from the back of your throat.
Minghao’s arms shake as he laughs. His lips stay on your head, almost like he can’t bear to peel away from you for a minute too long.
“I don’t mind,” he says as the two of you begin to succumb to sleep.
The last thing you hear is his affectionate, soft promise of, “I’ll start working on convincing you, xīngān.”
#minghao x reader#the8 x reader#minghao fluff#the8 fluff#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#minghao drabble#the8 drabble#୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt#୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy
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Today we got some news regarding a big change for the Ian Flynn's Q&A podcast, the BumbleKast. As outlined in a blog post by Ian, starting in 2025, all Sonic-related questions submitted to the show will first need to be screened by Sega. (I have to assume this is also why Ian announced they'll no longer be doing live Q&As starting next year.)
Frankly, I can't say this is particularly surprising.
While the BumbleKast is ostensibly a podcast about Ian's work as a freelance writer for all sorts of things, and also just a place for him to shoot the shit about stuff he likes, he's still predominantly seen as The Sonic Guy. Sure, he also does a bunch of other freelance work for other series, and original comics like Drogune, and he's also the narrative mastermind for the whole Rivals of Aether franchise these days, but it's his insights into what goes on behind the scenes with Sonic that people really care about. Your average Sonic fan can't just go up to Iizuka or whoever and ask him a question about the current state of the lore, but Ian's inbox is always open.
Because of this, I've thought a lot about the BumbleKast's place in the fandom and The Discourse in recent years. Ian wants to be as open and honest as he can about his work, and I think that's admirable. To me, hearing about creators' struggles and the shit they go through just to get a story out the door tends to make me sympathize with them more. Sometimes a story just doesn't turn out as well as you'd hoped, but you're on a tight deadline and all you can do is move on to the next project. I've even softened a bit on Penders over the years as he's shared more about the absurd situations and odd creative demands made behind the scenes at Archie. Unfortunately, not everyone has that mindset.
Ian's basically always had obsessive haters who were eager to take everything he says out of context to try and stir up shit, but that used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie comics. Most of the fandom didn't give a shit about what Ian was doing with Sonic and Sally's love life or whatever. Most of the fandom wasn't even reading those comics. But Ian's gone from being a writer for a non-canon spinoff comic, to being the initial lead writer for the first ever canon Sonic comic series, to being the new main writer for the games themselves as part of the official Sonic Lore Team. Way more Sonic fans care about his work now, and when he's so open about his work that makes him an easy scapegoat.
It feels like damn near every week on Twitter Ian's personal trolls have posted yet another BumbleKast clip out of context to rile up the fandom and make it look like he has no idea what he's talking about or like he has some kind of agenda. And, unfortunately, people often fall for this. Of course, it also goes the other way, with people more sympathetic towards Ian taking things he says about Sega and framing them as proof that Sega has no idea what they're doing with the brand. Which, well, let's be real, isn't always the most unreasonable thing to think, given Sonic's rocky history. But I'm surprised it took this long for Sega to start paying more attention to what gets said on the BumbleKast when fans use it so regularly as a source of drama.
I've also often felt that they just need to be WAY more selective about what messages they respond to on the show. Questions Ian can't actually answer due to NDAs, questions that are borderline incomprehensible, "questions" that are really just fan ideas. And the haters, oh, the haters. Ian does not need to put up with angry rants about how he should make SonAmy canon or what the fuck ever. Even if Ian's willing to put up with it, as a listener it can make the show just super unpleasant at times when someone aggressive pops up with an inflammatory question. There have been entire BumbleKast Mini episodes I had to skip because they were just obsessive critics of Ian's paying to grill him on a dozen different things and treat him like an idiot.
But at the same time, I get why the show got to be this way. It's become a part-time job for Ian with multiple new episode a week. Given how piss poor the pay tends to be for freelance writers, I can't really blame him for wanting to keep this secondary stream of income open, and to not have to refund people left and right for rejecting their questions. The man's got bills to pay. (And so does Kyle, for whom managing the BumbleKast seems to have become a full-time job.)
I dunno. The man's got the patience of a fucking saint. I would've quit the franchise if I was in his shoes, with people wishing he would die for shit like minor disagreements over Sonic's characterization or him misremembering an obscure old lore thing. While I do hope that Sega doesn't keep too tight of a leash on him moving forward, and I hope that he's still able to speak his mind about his work, part of me also hopes that having to be much more selective about Sonic questions results in less bullshit like this.
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Okay, I actually really like this. And I can say why.
"But Dana isn't it hypocritical to Like Lunar's 'villain arc' while disliking Nexus's?"
Not really. Because what Lunar is doing is consistent with his character. Which is, entirely selfish motivations as he has always had before, and I'll explain Lunar's motivations and why he makes a better compelling villain arc. And who knows, maybe Lunar will rush back and say he's sorry after one or two episodes when Nexus didn't.
But Nexus/N!Moon grieving over someone he loved, everyone assuming he's evil and them making a heel turn into 'irredeemable evil' I didn't like because it was contradictory to the past year we spent with N!Moon and unintentionally felt like it villainized grieving in an ugly way. And I've expressed the dislike of All of Nexus's worst fears coming true. He believes his family doesn't understand, they treat him like villain immediately. He thinks he's easily replaceable and not as talented as the Old Moon. Old Moon comes back, replaces him, is accepted immediately and was proven to be intellectually superior to N!Moon. He thinks he's broken that he's beyond repair and can't be fixed. Earth gave up on him really quickly despite being aware of his coping mechanisms (lashing out) (even before the "collateral damage" thing) Ruin lied and manipulated him and killed Solar. Nexus never wanted to be manipulated again.... D!Sun put the plans in place that he was the perfect pawn in an interdimensional sacrifice to get the outcome he wanted. Nexus wanted his family to join him and understand him. No one understood him and he died at the hands of his own brother.
Nexus died with all his worst fears and nightmares confirmed true. It's honestly tragic and horrible.
NOw.... Lunar. Getting into this little bean. Has a far more compelling reason to be corrupted by Negative star power. That is consistent with his character and just doesn't replace Lunar with... Lexus or something.
So Lunar was just told recently by Taurus and Gemini, that he has reached the precipice of his training and neither will train him anymore. With his mental block on his trauma and Eclipse and just apathetic to everything, he can't tap into his emotions or power. Understandably, Lunar is frustrated by this and feels no one is listening to him and feels his partner is being demeaning (they're not. And it's not about him. But Lunar is to selfish to get that.)
People often don't understand that Gemini does not try to be intentionally demeaning to Lunar. They do not have human emotions like we do, or even the animatronics do. They operate at a different level beyond our human comprehension, So I don't place Astrals into mortality boxes. And Lunar, is still a very childish and selfish character, and seems to not understand their partner. Even if they do like them a whole lot. They just don't understand them at a fundamental level. It's hard to have an emotional connection to someone who doesn't have human emotions, (or who is just starting to feel emotions in small doses but that's just a theory) and Lunar does not have the patience or emotional maturity to deal with someone who operates like that.
So Rez puts it out there for Lunar to get stronger then they are willing to train him and SO OF COURSE Lunar would jump at that because he feels infantilized and has felt that way by his partner for a long time. Keep it in mind, Gemini does not do this intentionally, and makes this clear to Lunar MANY TIMES over the entire course of the year they have been interacting.
Not to mention, Sun killing Nexus disturbed something across dimensions. It's as I said when Nexus first turned to the dark side. It's like all Moon's destiny is to inherently be doomed by ambition. Lunar included in that. Lunar following in Nexus's footsteps. Because those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it. And Lunar is the prime example. And this is horrible. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to like Lunar's heel turn into a Sasuke arc. But this is on a path of destiny that needs to break. And that's why I think I find it a bit more compelling from a character motivation and writing stand point. So. Yes. Lunar abandoning his family when they need him. Horray!!!
I think I just like it because it is consistent with all of Lunar's characterization up to this point. And because he did not care or know what was going on with Nexus, he will get corrupted by the NSP too. Who knows, maybe Lunar will gain a new found sympathy for Nexus knowing how Dark Star Power fucks with your head and insecurities.
#tsams#laes#full disclosure i was drinking when I typed this so the second half might sound less coherent then the first half#danachan's rants#Sun and Moon show#Lunar and Earth show
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I've spent a while indulging my own fantasies on here recently but I've been tailoring this one so I need to talk about it
I'm obsessed with the thought of sharing your naughtiest, most depraved fantasies with dad's best friend!bucky and him giving you a safe space to try them out.
You almost think he's forgotten all the filthy things you admitted one night, cuddled up in bed together until a few weeks later when you're making out in the kitchen after dinner and he leads you upstairs to his bedroom.
He's placed a chair in front of the TV and your heart begins to race because he's surely not doing what you think he's doing. He couldn't be letting you live out the fantasy you've never shared with anyone else.
He kisses from your shoulder, up your neck and you're glad that he can't see your excitement when he's standing behind you. "Sit down". He whispers, placing a final kiss behind your ear and for once, you're happy to do as he tells you.
While you sit down, he flicks the TV on and starts playing a video you recognise within a few seconds. It's one you'd taken together not too long ago.
In the video, you have your face close to the bedroom carpet, your ass in the air and Bucky is behind you, recording in a mirror, pounding into you in a way that had you cumming mindlessly on his cock. You have one hand barely supporting yourself while the other rubs your clit frantically and although it's the start of the video, you already look over pleasured.
"You see how fucking gorgeous you are?" Bucky brings you back down to earth, kissing along your shoulders while he shuffles the skirt of your dress up, dragging your panties down your legs and letting them fail in a little wet heap on the floor.
Your own moans in the video are breathtaking, you almost didn't know you could sound like that. "Look at you. You take it like a pornstar. I can fucking hear how messy you were." He's right, the video captures every tiny little wet sound your eager cunt makes for him and you hang on every last one.
You hear a quiet click and a faint buzz starting and that's the only thing that could draw your attention away from the video playing in front of you. God, he really did listen to you.
Bucky presses the wand between your legs and even on the lowest setting, the sensation against your clit makes you squirm.
"Keep watching. I'm pretty sure you cum in a minute or two and I don't want you to miss it." Bucky's so smug, holding your chin gently in one hand while he makes your body quiver with the other.
He clicks the toy up a setting, rolling the head right where you need it most.
"Such a pretty little slut. You just want me to fill your holes with cum, don't you? You're desperate for me to cum in you, I can feel you trying to milk it from me. You have no idea how warm and wet and perfect you feel. Might fuck you until I'm totally empty. You know you'd like that; being so stuffed full of my cum you can't sit up without it spilling out of you." Bucky in the video fucks you through your first orgasm and you get to watch the way your body trembles and your eyes roll back.
You're so close just watching yourself but that doesn't suit the man kneeling beside you. He takes the wand away, making sure your impending orgasm fizzles away, despite your protests.
"You cum when I say you can sweetheart, and we've got a lot of videos left to watch."
#becca writes spice#becca's thots#dbf!bucky#Bucky Barnes smut#Bucky Barnes x reader smut#dad's best friend! bucky#maybe Ps!bucky too#this is one of my favourite fantasies recently#if you see this... yes you absolutely did
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hi! First of all - i love the way u write omg😭 i basically went through all your posts last evening and today hahah (procrastinating at it’s finest😌) Second - i wanna request a prompt, but i dunno if it’s too close to the one where ‘reader tells the lads boys that she’s too heavy for them’? if so, just ignore this!🫡💗
If not - could you write something about the boys finding out that reader/mc used to have bulimia(/or unspecified ed) and that she’s quietly struggling again, but not telling them? Maybe something angsty/comforting?
Trigger warning - This involves talk about eating disorders. Please use discretion when reading! Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! That means so much, because I used to write a lot years ago but stopped for a long time. I only got back into it recently, so the love I've been receiving has really done a positive number to my confidence. Thank you, lovely <3 I don't think it's possible for me to NOT write this request, because I'm a long time ED sufferer, and I am currently experiencing a harsh relapse unfortunately... You read me like a book, because 'Too Heavy' was a direct reference to that. It's hard, because it's such an invisible problem that oftentimes you suffer alone. Thank you for the request, hopefully I did it some justice, and for you or anyone who may relate to this post. (Also wrote this while listening to Lullaby - Jhameel on repeat. Give it a listen!)
Love and Deepspace Li's find out about your ED (and your current struggle)
Zayne -
The moment he finds out you live with an ED, he's down at the library finding any books he can, and researching as much as possible throughout the hospital and his old college's database.
He's also finding patient testimonials that have been released, so he can find the most compassionate approach that would help you without causing you any more harm than you already are experiencing at the hands of your own mind.
"I found a new restaurant I want to try. Apparently, they make a certain dish really well, I think we should try it together while we go over the latest mission you wished to tell me about."
He knows what you like, so it makes it easy for him to order things to share together places and ensure you're eating.
He will go out to eat every single day if he needs to, that's not any issue to him. Neither is sharing foods or cooking meals that he knows you love, even if they're not particularly his favorite.
He tries not to talk to you much about it, but does his best to be encouraging and nothing more whenever the subject of professional help comes up.
When you start opening up even more to him, he's all ears, and he's exceedingly careful about his choices of words, like he always is, but even more so now. The last thing he wants is to speak a trigger, especially when he's so focused on helping you get better.
He knows it never truly goes away, your disorder. But that's not an issue. It's more... a fact of being with you. And just like you take his problems and disabilities, he will take every single one of yours as well.
In stride, and with love.
Xavier -
He caught on, mostly because he found it strange that one moment you had eaten every single snack in the cupboard, and the next he heard, you hadn't eaten anything all day. He was wondering if it was something he was just unaware of, but-
Quickly finds out what exactly is going on after a few times of this happening. He was worried it was some strange habit, and now he's even more worried finding out it's been something you've been dealing with for quite a while.
He's upset, to say the least. But he'll keep that to himself.
He just wants to help you now.
He'll ask if there's anything that you feel like sharing with him on how to best help you, and there's definitely a note somewhere on his phone with a list of things you told him. If he can do any of them daily, he will. Anything else is always on his mind.
He doesn't let it get in the way of your day to day, though. You still play games together like normal, read together, and go the arcade whenever you both have the opportunity to win some more plushies for your hoards. He's always conscious about his own comments and behavior, but he doesn't ever let it seem like he's keeping an eye on you or trying to supervise you.
The tightrope of trusting you and helping you deal with your disorder is a thin one, and Xavier dances along it with grace.
No matter what, being around him is a comfort. Whether you're having a good day, or a bad day.
Sylus -
He's pretty internally frustrated when he first find out about it, but he doesn't let it show.
It has nothing to do with you or anything you did. He's just used to... having everything under control. For every problem to have a solution solved easily with money, force, or some compassion.
This is something he can't control.
And he hates it.
Aside from that, Sylus is like a light in the dark.
He had a list of trusted professionals to help you, should you want, and multiple of them at that- just in case you don't feel comfortable with the first one or three.
Any food you genuinely like to eat is available at all times, it does not matter if it is three in the morning. Are you wanting it? Nice, it's right there on your plate.
The frequency of which you see him increases, including the twins, despite both situations being... vastly different.
Where he takes you out for dinners at new and gorgeous restaurants, including ones feature in your favorite media or having special events for a game you like- the twins are throwing bags of snacks at you and yelling at you to throw pieces into their mouths and so they can do the same to you.
You will learn Sylus did not ask them to do this, in fact he explicitly told them not to do that.
It's pretty obvious though, they were worried about Sylus. And not just him, but you too.
Probably because of how much Sylus has been concerned about you, even if just in secret.
He doesn't want his feelings to make you feel anything but loved, so prepare for a speech the second you feel any kind of guilty. You're not getting out of this one.
Not until you know how much he cares about you, no matter what.
Rafayel -
The way he treats it is extremely encompassing. The way he sees it, is if you're sad or not doing too hot mentally, it's going to affect every part of your brain, including the parts that make you feel the way you do with your ED.
Driving you somewhere? He's playing upbeat music pounding out of the speakers of his sports car, singing along goofily or making up new words. You haven't eaten in a long time? Too bad, suddenly he's hungry and wants a snack. In fact, he wants a snack every couple of hours. If you binged and feel like dying, he'll be offering you water and any distraction he can to get your mind off of your appearance or the guilt of your binge.
He will spend more of his own free time at the gym if he needs to to work off any extra weight he gains just to help you eat, if eating with him is what helps you and he doesn't want you to see him change and feel guilty over it. He doesn't care.
Constant, constant praise with him. It is not about your appearance, unless it's something you can change. Clothing you picked out, the way your makeup looks today, a hairstyle you did to yourself, etc. So many compliments on your achievements or work, all with a sweet smile across his face.
If it's really bad, he'll paint you gorgeous works in different sizes, that are conveniently perfectly sized to display directly over any mirrors in your apartment.
Whatever you need, he's on it.
He'll be there for you no matter your highs or your lows.
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#lds#x reader#lnds#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#tw ed#tw ed discussion#trigger warning
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A reminder to hypnosis subjects and those interested in hypnosis
I've been thinking about this for a while now, especially because I had to explain it to a subject who was new to being hypnotized recently. It's something not often acknowledged in the hypnosis community, at least from what I've seen.
As much as hypnosis is often portrayed as mind control, and as much as I often like to lean into that fantasy that I control my subjects' will and body, you the subject are in control at the end of the day. You are lending control to the hypnotist, and how much you lend is up to you! Many people enjoy the idea of the hypnotist having complete control over them, but it's just that: an idea, a fantasy.
Now, that isn't to say you aren't easier to convince while hypnotized. I like to think about it like being in a really good mood - you're happy to do things you normally wouldn't do, but you're still you, and you won't do anything that you really wouldn't want to do no matter what. Because of that, I always recommend being hypnotized only by those you trust, someone who cares about your well-being. But that means if a hypnotist is making you uncomfortable for whatever reason, you have the power to reject what they're telling you, no matter what they say. They're called "suggestions" for a reason, and hypnotists are more of a guide than someone who controls your every whim.
You might also find that when you're hypnotized, you're still "aware" of what's going on, and it might feel like you can stop it at any time. And that's okay! That usually is a sign that you're being hypnotized, not the other way around. You are in control and you can stop at any time, but the fun of hypnosis is that you won't want to stop listening to the hypnotist's words, their suggestions will feel like there's no harm in following them (provided it's something you're okay with). You're in control, but you're choosing to let go and let the hypnotist guide you into doing things that you might not normally do and you might enjoy.
As I said earlier, I like leaning into the fantasy of controlling my subjects almost completely, but I make sure they're okay with that sort of thing before I ever hypnotize them (and a lot of the time, people are). We talk about our limits and boundaries, what we want out of a session, and I do my best to make sure my subjects feel comfortable and safe around me. Ideally, anyone trying to hypnotize you will do the same! This allows those who really like the idea of handing control to me to do so in a safe space.
Hopefully this helps someone out there, and I hope y'all have a good day. ^w^
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Have a mini fic about Steve annotating books and Eddie finding it really hot🖤
So obviously, Eddie's a bookworm. Before he had any friends, he spent the better parts of his childhood at Hawkins Library after school and Hawkins Middle's library during any recesses and lunches. He constantly read books, this was before Wayne got him a guitar and before he got into dnd, and being a bookworm tremendously helped him fuel both of those hobbies later on. But before then? The library was like a second home to him.
And so, recently founding out that Steve reads, like a lot, is something of a revalation. It's not that Eddie thinks the guy is stupid, but he figured the guy spent time doing other productive hobbies at home. But the guy reads, and as previously mentioned, Eddie considers himself a literature connoisseur of sorts. Writing book reports and essays were one of the few things he actually excelled at in high school.
So anyway, he found out that Steve is a book nerd by finding one of Steve's books open on his bed. Not really the strangest thing that Eddie's come across in Steve's room if he's being honest, and not the biggest indicator of nerdiness, until he focuses his attention and acknowledges the bright colors sprawled across the pages.
A burst of rainbow colors underlining what Eddie guesses are his favorite parts of the story or important stuff he wanted to remember. And obviously, Eddie has to ask him about it. and Steve explains to him that he has a whole color key and it's made up of romantic lines that make him feel warm, sad stuff that makes him tear up, stuff that is word for word undoubtedly Steve Harrington sprawled on a page. Steve won't tell him which color is which, too embarrassed by it, but he lets Eddie read through them, and then he stares at Steve in unyeilding fondness.
The look reflected on Steve's is not the same, mostly anxiety and insecurity, which Eddie immediately wants to soothe. It's so so sweet he thinks but Eddie's mouth translates the words into, "That's so fucking hot." Which, shit man, it is but he hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"Shut up, dude, don't make fun of me right now."
And listen, books are everything to him, this is no joking matter. They inspire his own stories, whether through a dnd campaign or writing song lyrics. It's honestly probably the most attractive thing a person could do in Eddie's opinion, he didn't know how hot until right about now, but he'll die on this hill. Annotating your books is hot.
"Listen to me when I say this Steve, while that is the nerdiest thing I've ever heard and I'm, ya know, me. It's also about the most attractive thing that's come out of that pretty mouth of yours, like ever."
And Steve folds his arms across his fucking beautifully sculpted chest and narrows his eyes just slightly, raising a judgemental eyebrow at him.
"You're being serious."
Oh he's never been more serious about anything in his life.
"Uh...yeah? Yes. Oh my god."
Yeah, real eloquent Edward.
Whatever, his heart is pounding profuesely against his rib cage because holy shit Steve is a book nerd and Eddie wants to kiss him fucking yesterday. So he gets on all fours on Steve's bed to lean forward and basically attacks his mouth before he can even think about it.
And when he pulls back, Steve's pupils are blown wide and his breath has picked up pace, and Steve keeps bouncing between looking at Eddie's eyes and his lips.
"You just kissed me."
It comes out disbelieving.
"Yeah and with your permission I'd like to continue, like stat, immediately, now."
"You're insane."
And hands weave through curls and pull.
Eddie tumbles foward, ending fully sprawled on top of Steve, and, jesus christ, body pressed impossibly close to his.
And after they're romantic, read: nerdy horniness, little makeout session, he forces Steve to read the annotations himself, going through all the books that are important to Steve. He has to stop himself from moaning to really emphasize how hot he finds it, and to make Steve slightly embarrassed, but refrains. Just lets him continue.
Eddie has never been so in love in his life.
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this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.
And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.
And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.
#posts you make when you realize you haven't revisited politics and the english language since high school and probably should#but your greatest platform is your actual play and similar fantasy nerd shit blog#cr spoilers#cr tag#what has struck me about people in the fandom who are the best meta writers (other than myself; can't really be objective there)#is that they have unique and individual voices and they're often in agreement but usually voice their thoughts differently from each other#and a lot of really dumb posts will all use nearly identical language and double down on it without providing an actual defense#see: girlfailure
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